Unlocking Excellence: Why

Today I'm going to walk through why someone might care about Unlocking Excellence. Broadly speaking, people have one of four reactions when I tell them about Unlocking Excellence:

1. They are positively excited about it

2. They are neutral: meh, whatever...

3. They are negatively predisposed to it, thinking, 'I'm excellent as I am and I don't need to unlock anything!'

4. They may also feel: 'I'm too tired to think about this right now!'

Indeed, the daily rat race keeps most people running on a hamster wheel that saps us of energy, so reaction 4 is completely understandable. And only occasionally, in those all-too-rare quiet moments of self-reflection, does it dawn that this feeling--I'm too tired to think about this right now--is itself not good for us. Today's predominantly capitalist society is not designed to encourage your excellence as a goal you pursue for your self: it is designed to make you an excellent tool for someone else's agenda. It takes courage and wisdom to set aside time for oneself, and not feel that one is too tired to think about matters that are of paramount importance: being of service to one's true self.

As for reaction 3, this is easy to understand once we understand how our ego works. Our ego is designed to protect us and to make us feel that we are always right. (i learned this excellent insight from the brilliant psychologist Dr. Paul Jenkins, although its origins probably date farther back.) This is a naturally defensive posture that arises when the mind is displaced from its comfort zone. This has to be overcome if one seeks to truly excel.

Reaction 2 is the classic apathetic reaction. The mind that is jaded by cynicism brought about by numerous uninspiring worldly interactions despairs even when it sees something inspiring. It finds it difficult to engage enthusiastically in even a matter that is of profound importance for oneself.

But if you have read this far, and are an enthusiastic person who has a growth mindset, then it is quite easy to be positively excited about the prospect of unlocking excellence.

So, why should you care about Unlocking Excellence? Most of us want to do well at the things in life that are important to us. That could be one's career, doing meaningful and impactful work, making more money, gaining name and fame, thriving in our relationships at home and work, care of dependents, self-care, or any of a very wide range of things that are important to us. What is key to notice here is that when there's a gap, in other words, when we are not thinking, communicating, or behaving in ways that make us feel fulfilled in what's important to us, there is discontent.

I believe discontent is the most under-rated and under-appreciated feelings. Discontent is at the root of all growth.

To clarify, by discontent I do not mean its unhealthy offspring: grievance, resentment, anger, and bitterness. Discontent is a simpler feeling that is encapsulated in the phrase: "I wish things were better." What we do with this feeling once it arises, is critical. A sensible and balanced approach serves us best. When we project the causes of discontent outward, we lose agency and become a victim of circumstance or other people's actions. This naturally leads to all the unhealthy offspring of discontent that I just mentioned. When we consider what we can do to improve the situation, we reclaim our agency and our power. Of course, in order to not descend into unhealthy levels of self-criticism, self-blame, and guilt, there is wisdom in knowing what is within our capacity to change, and what is not (this is well captured in the widely known Serenity Prayer by Kahlil Gibran.)

So rather than worrying about happiness or fulfillment, today I encourage you to think about discontent. Jot down three things you feel discontent about right now. Also note when you feel discontent, for how long, and how often? This will help you distinguish chronic discontent, from something that is severe but short-lived. As we evolve as human beings, what's important to us also changes, but that's a topic for a future post. After accounting for factors that are outside your control, ask yourself what could you be doing to address this discontent?

Here are some useful clues as you reflect on your discontents. Broadly speaking, discontent arises in three situations:

1. feeling confused, stuck, or unclear about something that leaves an unpleasant feeling that is difficult to articulate

2. inability to have difficult conversations

3. sometimes knowing what the right thing to do is but having difficulty following through with action

This might give you a better picture about why you should care about unlocking excellence, because that is the opposite of being in these three situations. Imagine if you

1. had clarity about what you want to (or need to) do

2. had the ability to communicate that clearly to yourself and others

3. had the ability to move from actionable thought to action without getting stuck in the gap

That's what unlocking excellence is all about.

As always: Know your self. Live your truth. Unlock your excellence.